I am not paranormal. I do not remember
my life from the first moment I opened my eyes and faced this world. However, I
can assure you that ever since I remember me as an individual existence, I was
never girly. I do recall a period where I would play with Barbie and other
girls stuff but I am sure, I was interested on the anthropological aspect of
the whole concept.
I have a really bold memory of two
school pictures that my mom dared to frame and put them in a very visible place
in the living room: 1st, me
looking at the camera wearing dark blue boylike sport clothes and a DIY
necklace of a toy hydrocephalous diver and 2nd ,
me (again) wearing boy boxers with the logo of my favorite Greek football team,
Olympiakos since there were no girly underwear football team themed at the
time. How could they?
Another intense memory crossing my mind
is me being ridiculously upset for not being selected for the boys (!!!)
basketball team in primary school. In the end, I played for four minutes, we
lost and as if the entire drama is not enough, someone threw the ball on me hitting
my head and I passed out. I promised myself to never play football again. I
kept my promise.
Favorite movies as a kid: Little ninjas,
3 ninjas, power rangers and a series of national geographic about totem and
taboo. Hopeless.
In the meantime, I joined a karate school.
I was the only girl when I started. Oh, wait, I forgot to mention to you,
lovely people, HOW I joined the karate school. I ditched ballet and swimming
school since my feet were very boylike for ballet and as for swimming school?
Well, a 6 year old blondie tried to keep me underwater for as long as it takes
with the ultimate goal of drowning me , resulting into me kicking her in the
head and escaping. Obviously, I was not the best swimmer. Certainly, I was a
karate kid!!!
So, karate was my favorite thing in the
world. But I had big boobs. I felt like a very cute and charismatic boy trapped
in the body of a girl. I was seriously asking my parents for breast reduction
surgery. Now, moving a bit forward to my
‘serious’ years, I can recall me ditching a boy –or wait – breaking up with a
boy because I was thinking of my career and I had no time for him. I mean,
damn, I’m not even kidding. All my friends had boyfriends and in all the movies
girls were having this thing with boys and all I cared about was… karate! And,
what career was I talking about?
Every boygirl that respects herself is dressing
like an athlete training hard for the winter Olympics, avoids makeup and never –ever-
for any damn reason leaves her hair down. At a certain point, I was introduced
to makeup which I formally abused. This purple eyeshadow with zero mascara- oh
dear lord! Quel desastre!! I was wearing TONES of eye liner for the simple
reason that I tried to apply eye pencil and had a red eye for one and a half
weeks!
I would cut my own hair and make my own
clothes (well, tbh I was cutting some of the clothes my mom would buy me and I would
try to make it look like it never happened and then I would think I am Coco
Chanel). When I actually found a balance between looking like a stray cat and
being girly-like, it sort of worked. However, here are some basic things a
boygirl will never stop doing and she is actually proud of:
1. She will never feel comfortable in a
dress or a skirt. She will indeed wear it but believe me, she will count the
hours, minutes, seconds to throw the hell out of it.
2. She will always experiment with her
looks – meaning: purple hair;don’t care, handmade jewelry that you can hardly
tell what it is, cutting her own hair, shopping from the men’s’ department when
she doesn’t find something ‘cool’ enough at the women’s, go makeup free when
not feeling it and indeed avoiding high hills whenever/wherever possible.
3. She will slap your butt while watching
you cooking. Oh yeah! She will. If she hasn’t done so yet, wait for it! She is
just not comfortable enough yet.
4. She will never have the ‘after hair
salon perfect’ hair. An original boygirl touches her hair A LOT. And her face.
And bye bye makeup.
5. A boygirl eats. Ok, just to be clear. I
am not claiming that the girlies out there don’t eat. But a boygirl can eat in
front of anyone! Anywhere! No shame. We are not afraid to break the girl rules
of not eating in front of men or the guy you like because he will think you are
a pig. Well, between food and you? Boy, bye!
6. She will always pick the action-mind
blowing movies. Notebook? Ok, good stuff. But, comon’ , gets boring and this
protagonist is a looser! The chick needed some playing. We all know that,
right? We all agree, don’t we?
7. We sleep wearing lame t-shirts. No sexy
lingerie around here. The sexiest it can get is simple black colored. The
cockiest? Old school faded Chicago bulls – and I mean the originals.
8. Romance is translated into awkwardness
most of the times. Our cynicism is working against us on that and probably when
you do ‘cute’ stuff to us on a date or in public we would appreciate if the
ground can open into two and swallow us.
9. We do make selfies, we are boygirls, not
aliens! However, it does take us a significantly less amount of time to take
that freaking selfie and we upload selfies that include visible pimples in case
the background is significant. Warning: We photobomb. A lot!
10. Last but not least: A boygirl’s playlist
is SCARY! There are songs talking about putting a building on fire, bitches and
money. There is hardcore lyrics and beats. We don’t play with this kind of
things.
Besides the aforementioned, this type of
girls is slightly more interesting than the normal simple easygoing type but
equally dangerous. It enchants you: she makes you feel comfortable around her,
she feels cool, flexible, open minded and then BAM! Female hormones man! Can’t
escape them. Be careful! We are still women….
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